


Scarlatina

by alabasterclouds



Series: Weekends at Carol's [7]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Accidents, Age Play, Bathing/Washing, Bathroom Accidents, Bed-Wetting, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diapers, F/F, Feeding, Lactation, Lactation Kink, Non-Sexual Age Play, Nursing, Nursing Kink, Potty Accidents, Sick Character, Sickfic, Wetting, scarlet fever, time outs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6587719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alabasterclouds/pseuds/alabasterclouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Therese is out of sorts and fussy. Carol can't figure out what's wrong, until Therese comes down with scarlet fever and things start to get very scary for both of them. </p><p>Like ageplay? Follow me: alabasterclouds.tumblr.com</p><p>Note: This is an ageplay fic, and it will have elements of the ageplay kink in it, as well as elements of sick!fics. Not your thing? Awesome - please don't ruin it for the rest of us. Read the tags and consider yourself warned. Thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Therese, sweetheart, you're going to be late for work."

Carol came out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel on her face and neck, to find Therese in bed still, the covers pulled up over her head, curled into a fetal position. Carol sighed. Getting Therese out of bed in the mornings was an exercise at the best of times, but lately Therese had been tired, wanting to stay in bed and sleep past her alarm, acting very fussy when Carol did finally convince her she'd miss her train if she didn't get up and get dressed immediately.

Therese murmured and turned over onto her stomach, pushing her face into the pillow. Carol went over and kissed the part of Therese's neck that showed above her pajama collar. "Darling. You're going to miss your train and I really can't drive you to work today. You need to get up." 

Therese rolled over and moaned. "No. I'm sleepy, Carol."

"I know, sweetie. But it's almost the weekend and we can spend all day in bed tomorrow if you like. Come on. I need to get you changed and then you need to get dressed and ready to go."

"No." Therese pouted stubbornly, a rather rare occurrence for her. "I don't want to get dressed. I don't want any breakfast."

"Therese." Carol's voice was reproving. "Now, let's not start the day out being sour. It's Friday; we both have busy days ahead, and," - Carol checked her watch, hissing in frustration - "I'm already going to be late. Come on, now. Up you get. Be a big girl today, please."

Therese's lower lip began to tremble, and Carol knew she'd said the wrong thing. Sometimes the girl was so sensitive; it was truly irritating. But she reached out and stroked Therese's hair away from her face, gently, and composed herself. "Say, what if we went out for dinner tonight? Or maybe caught a show on Broadway? Would you like that?"

A tiny smile, then. "Yes, I would," whispered Therese, and she reached out for Carol. Carol gave up on making it to work on time and took Therese into her arms, breathing in Therese's sweet sleepy smell and enjoying her warmth.

"Mmm," murmured Carol. "I wish we could stay in bed all day." She kissed Therese's forehead. "Come on, sweetie. You need to be changed."

This time, Therese allowed Carol to remove the bedcovers. She stretched out, yawning sweetly, and then smiled at Carol. Carol removed Therese's pajama pants and tickled her on the tummy. Therese giggled, but she blushed, and clutched the front of her diaper for a moment.

"Uh-oh," said Carol. "I should have known that every time I tickle you, you wet your pants." She kissed Therese on the tummy instead and then made quick work of her diaper change, wiping Therese thoroughly from front to back, trying to clean her as much as she could. Therese chewed on her fingernail, her mind elsewhere. When Carol finally finished with her, she didn't get up right away, and Carol gently tickled her belly again to get her attention.

"Where are you?"

Therese's eyes refocused. "Oh, I was thinking about work. I'm sorry." She smiled at Carol again and then got up, wandering to the wardrobe and picking out a grey suit and cream blouse. Carol started to make the bed, and then stopped.

"Therese, darling, did you have an accident last night?"

Therese turned around from where she was putting on her bra. "No. I don't think so. I didn't feel like I'd leaked."

"The sheets are wet." Carol sighed a little, trying not to outwardly show her frustration. "I think I'm going to have to call Bob this morning and let him know I'm going to be late. We'll have to send out the laundry; I'm not sure we have many clean sheets left." She didn't mention the accident Therese had had the week before, but Therese clearly knew what Carol was referring to, and she came over, half-dressed, to gently push Carol out of the way, her face flushed in embarrassment.

"I made the mess. I'll clean it up." Therese started to strip the bed. "Go and call Bob if you're going to be late."

"You're going to be late, too, and you haven't even eaten anything!" Carol ran a hand through her hair, but Therese, carefully not looking at her, just shook her head.

"Go, Carol."

Carol quietly left the bedroom and stopped by the phone on the table in the hallway. Recently, she'd just been feeling, well, off. She wasn't sure if it was that she was going through the change of life, or she was coming down with something, or the emotions of the last few months were catching up with her. But she was more achy after a long day of work and less patient with Therese and her sometimes very capricious moods. Carol wondered if she needed some time away to herself; maybe a weekend with Abby would help. But Abby had been less able to spend time with Carol lately due to her work as an entomologist; she'd had to attend several agricultural conferences lately and she was pursuing a woman she'd met at one of them. So Abby was out, at least for now, though they did still talk almost daily, long phone conversations that Carol would have with her during her downtime at the furniture store.

As Carol picked up the phone, she thought about Therese. Therese had lately been more tired and much more fractious. As the hot July days wore on, she seemed to be unable to handle the heat very well. Carol had procured an air conditioner, at a steep price, for the bedroom so they could at least sleep at night, but she didn't like to run it when they both weren't home, which could mean an hour or two of stifling New York heat and humidity before it became cool enough for Therese. Carol also wondered if Therese's diapers were overheating her; they'd tried a few days of Therese wearing just panties, but after a number of accidents, thankfully not on the carpets or furniture, Therese had asked for her diapers back. While they were home, Carol let Therese go without her tight, hot vinyl pants, which seemed to help a little, but Therese was wary of sitting on the furniture or the bed without her pants on, which meant that she spent a lot of time lying on the hardwood, drawing or reading, shifting uncomfortably.

Regardless, thought Carol, it could be that they both needed some time away, maybe at a resort by the beach, or out to the Hamptons for awhile. Just to breathe a bit and get out of the sooty heat. She rubbed her achy lower back, mindful of the fact that she had missed last month's period and was likely due for this month's early, and made her phone call.

When she'd finished, trying to ignore the annoyed note in her boss's voice, Therese came out of the bathroom, looking very smart and businesslike in her suit, her hair and makeup carefully done, but also looking flushed and tired. "Ugh. Is there any coffee?"

"Yes. I made some earlier this morning." Carol went ahead of Therese into the kitchen to pour her a cup. Therese sloshed some milk into it and stood against the counter, drinking deeply. 

"It's going to be so hot again today," she said, her voice rising in a whine, and Carol pouted at her sympathetically.

"Oh, darling. I know. Is the air conditioning still broken at the office?"

Therese made a face and put her cup down. "It was yesterday. I don't hold out hope they'll have fixed it today, I'm afraid. And it's supposed to be scorching all weekend. I read it in the paper yesterday."

Carol kissed Therese on the cheek. "I was thinking of taking a drive out to the beach tomorrow, maybe. It might be nice to cool off a bit. Or we could go to Abby's and use her pool." Abby never minded Carol dropping by when she was away, and Carol, feeling a little sweaty at the back of her neck, thought about just how nice it would be to cool off in Abby's pool and carefully manicured garden. Her gardener came twice a week. It was one of the things Carol missed about living in Ridgewood; the miles of green space and quiet cool countryside.

Therese smiled, but she looked exhausted. "Maybe. Maybe it'd be better to spend the time in bed, like you mentioned." She picked up her purse from the counter beside the stove and came back to Carol, her arms extended. "I don't want to go," she whimpered, and Carol took Therese into her arms and looked down at her, a little surprised.

"Sweetheart, are you all right? Usually you're less fussy than this once you're out of bed."

Therese tossed her hair and tried to smile. "I'm all right. I'm just tired."

Carol kissed her, knowing she was going to kiss all of Therese's lipstick off and not caring. "All right. Have a good day at work, and give me a call around lunchtime; let me know what restaurant you'd like tonight. And try to stay cool. Don't forget your bag."

Therese nodded and watched as Carol picked up her own purse, heading towards the door. "I won't forget. Thank you for putting some clean changes in last night."

"I love you, Therese." Carol blew her a kiss and left, already feeling the humidity of the day press against her sore back and her tender breasts. If her period was coming, it really couldn't come soon enough, thought Carol, heading towards her car and slipping on her sunglasses.

She hoped Therese would be all right.

//~//

Therese watched Carol go and swallowed painfully, feeling the headache that she'd awakened with pound against her skull. She was definitely coming down with something, though she figured it was just a summer cold and nothing to be concerned about. She usually got one or two during the hot season; strange, thought Therese, based on the fact that colds seemed a winter malady. 

Deciding to skip breakfast due to her tummy churning a little bit and a low ache in her abdomen, she told herself she'd grab a bagel from the bodega on the corner next to the Times Building. What Carol didn't know wouldn't hurt her. And anyway, thought Therese rebelliously, she didn't have to eat if she didn't want to. She was still an adult.

The heat was pressing already as she made sure the bedroom air conditioner was turned off and the fans in the living room were off as well. The humidity wasn't making her head feel any better; in fact, the pain was making her feel a little sick to her stomach. Turning and heading back into the bathroom, she swallowed two aspirin from the medicine cabinet and winced as her sore throat made itself known. 

Therese felt a hot flash overcome her suddenly; she started to sweat and her face flushed a bright red. Suddenly, Therese realized that she didn't feel well enough to brave the train to work. She didn't feel well enough to do anything at all. 

She knew she really should go to work. They were going to press a little early today to give everyone a chance to get out a bit earlier for the weekend, and she had a stack of contact sheets on her desk that seemed a mile high. But Therese, now feeling a chill despite the hot weather, realized that if this was a cold, it was coming on fast, and she'd end up miserable at work, especially without air conditioning. 

So before she could change her mind, she went to the phone and dialled her boss. "Jim, I'm not coming in today," she said, trying to sound businesslike. "I'm not feeling well, and I'd rather not spread it around."

"Belivet, we need you," came Jim's harried voice, crackling through the phone and straight through Therese's pounding head. "You know we're trying to meet deadline early today. Can't you take some aspirin and tough it out? Williams has no idea what he's doing and I could use you to babysit him today while I get other things done."

Therese winced. Keith Williams was new to the department and was struggling to learn the way things were done. Therese knew that Jim didn't have time to train Keith, but her stomach churned and started to ache when she thought about going in. She shook her head, and cleared her aching throat.

"No, I'm really sick, Jim. I'll see you Monday, okay?"

Jim's sigh could have been heard in New Jersey. "Okay. But I'm not happy about this, Belivet." He put the phone down and Therese felt momentarily guilty until her abdomen started to cramp. Therese briefly wondered if she was due for her period, but realized she'd only had it a week or so ago. She started to feel weak, and thought she'd go and lie down.

Shedding her suit and hanging it back up in the much cooler bedroom, she fished out a pair of mint-green cotton pajamas and put them on, feeling a little better already. She turned on the air conditioner, ignoring the chill that shot down her spine when she was hit by the blast of cool air, and lay down on the freshly changed bed. She felt better once she lay down - less nauseated - but her stomach cramped again and this time, it made a low growl.

Well, maybe she was just hungry. Therese wandered to the kitchen and started to make herself a piece of toast, but her throat ached painfully and she started to feel really tired. She should have gotten up on time, she thought, and let Carol make her breakfast. She rubbed a hand across her eyes, which were starting to burn a little, and then abruptly dropped her knife when her belly cramped badly and she realized she needed to get to a toilet, now.

Therese ran into the bathroom, thankfully across from the kitchen, and unpinned her still-dry diaper just in time. As she sat on the toilet, she wondered what kind of illness this was. She'd had stomach flus before, but this seemed to be much worse. Therese pressed her burning forehead into her hands and wished for Carol. But Carol was at work, and she had been so worried about not getting there on time. Therese didn't feel she could call her now. She'd lie down and wait until Carol got home late this afternoon.

Abandoning her half-buttered toast on the counter, telling herself she'd clean it up before Carol came home, Therese went back to bed and turned her hot face back into her pillow, closing her eyes, enjoying the relative cool of the bedroom. She'd just lie down for a little while, and then she'd probably feel a bit better. It could just be something she ate.

Her eyes closed.

//~//

Carol put her pen down and frowned. It was past noon, and usually Therese called just before she went out to grab herself some lunch. But the phone had been silent all morning, and even on Therese's busiest days, she never forgot to call Carol.

Picking up the phone, Carol dialled the number of the New York Times Photo department and asked for Therese, only to be told by a flat-voiced man that Therese hadn't come in that day.

"She called out sick, ma'am."

"Oh!" Carol stifled a note of surprise. "That's right, I do remember her saying she wasn't well today. Thank you. I'll give her a call at home."

"Yep." The man hung up abruptly and Carol's forehead creased in concern. Therese had called out sick? Carol knew she'd been tired, but she hadn't realized Therese wasn't actually feeling well. Poor baby. It would explain her recent fractiousness and exhaustion. It was like Therese to not say anything, either. Carol wondered, shifting uncomfortably in her hard chair, if she, too, was coming down with something. She was so sore and achy today.

She picked up the phone again and called home, but the phone rang and rang without an answer, and Carol wondered if Therese had decided to step out for a few minutes, maybe to go to the deli on the corner for their matzo ball soup, which she liked when she was sick. She started to feel concerned. She didn't like the idea of Therese at home by herself if she was feeling sick, though Therese often liked to be left alone when she had a cold, wanting to sleep it off. However, thought Carol a little fondly, she always liked to nurse, and was actually clingier that way than normally.

Carol stood up. She had an hour for lunch, and she decided she'd pop home and just see how Therese was doing. Picking up her keys, she hurried out to where she'd parked the Packard on the street. She knew she'd lose her spot, but she was more concerned with Therese.

Arriving home twenty minutes later, she opened the door of the apartment to find the fans going in the living room and kitchen, and frowned slightly. If Therese had left the house, she knew to turn them off. But that must mean she was still here. The apartment was hushed, a soporific afternoon spell over it already.

Carol walked into the kitchen and dropped her purse on the counter, noticing that Therese had abandoned a piece of toast on the counter and a glass of water. The aspirin had been taken from the bathroom and left beside the stove. She took off her blazer and hung it over a chair, stretching out her sore back, and then walked into the master bedroom, down the hall.

Therese lay asleep on the bed, her thumb in her mouth. There were tear-tracks on her face, and her pajamas looked rumpled and a little sweat-stained. There was a foul smell in the room, and Carol wrinkled her nose. They had an explicit agreement that Therese could use her diapers for wetting, but not for soiling. Carol hadn't even really changed any of Rindy's soiled diapers; she wasn't about to start with Therese now. Therese had been shocked by the idea, and had quickly agreed, which made this highly unusual. But - and Carol's face changed - if Therese had had an accident . . .

Therese woke up then, her face crumpling into a pout. She tried to clear her throat, but winced. "Owwww," she whimpered. She sat up and fumbled beside the bed for a glass of water, but it was empty. She grimaced as she moved, her soiled diaper clearly uncomfortable. Then she noticed Carol, and she started to cry.

"I'm sorry," wept Therese, rubbing her face, her voice sounding hoarse. "I didn't mean to."

Carol came and sat on the bed, taking her poor sick girl in her arms. "Oh, my darling," she murmured. "I'm so sorry you're not feeling well."

"I didn't mean to have an accident," Therese sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Carol. I feel awful." Her voice rose in a thin wail, and Carol hushed her, rocking her back and forth.

"Shh, shh, oh, Therese. Shh. It's all right, sweetheart. You're just not feeling well. It's not the end of the world. Your tummy's a little upset, isn't it?" Carol smoothed Therese's sweaty hair from her hot forehead. "Oh, and you've got a bit of a fever. Poor Therese."

Therese, usually not one for this sort of fussing, pushed her wet, mucus-covered face into Carol's blouse. Carol looked down at her, faintly surprised. Therese really must not be feeling well if she was this clingy.

"Okay, darling. I think you need a bath, don't you? Let's get you out of that dirty diaper and try to bring down that fever a little." 

Therese shook her head. "I don't want a bath," she said, and started to shiver violently. Carol held her close and kissed the top of her head. 

"I know you're feeling nasty. But you're very smelly and I think you'll feel better once we get you washed. I'm a little concerned about you getting a rash if you're having diarrhea, sweetheart."

Therese suddenly gagged, then, and Carol looked at her in alarm. "Are you going to be sick?"

Therese shook her head, but then she gagged again, and Carol made the decision to move them to the bathroom. Therese started to shake as she got to her feet, and Carol looked at her critically. She'd never seen Therese with such a high fever before. As soon as Therese got into the bathroom, she immediately turned on the tap and filled a glass, gulping the water gratefully.

"I won't be sick," she said, sounding exhausted and sinking down onto the toilet, wincing as she did so. "My throat is so sore, Carol. It makes me gag a little."

"Oh, sweetheart. Maybe it's tonsillitis." Carol started the bathwater and then came back and stroked Therese's hair. Therese leaned against Carol and started to cry. 

"You must think I'm so disgusting," she wept, and Carol knelt down in front of her, trying to ignore the protest of her lower back, and kissed Therese's forehead.

"I don't think you're disgusting. I think you're very sick, and I think we need to make you more comfortable so that you can feel better."

"What if you get sick?" Therese's wide dark-blue eyes looked alarmed, and Carol laughed.

"I won't get sick. I don't have any tonsils," she said and winked at Therese. Therese smiled a little, but her eyes involuntarily closed and she slumped forward into Carol's arms, almost as if she couldn't bear to sit up straight any longer. Carol rubbed Therese's back. As smelly and as dirty as Therese was, and she didn't smell too pleasant, thought Carol, she was still so vulnerable and sweet. 

"Say, Therese. Why don't I call out of work this afternoon and we can take a bath together?" Carol kissed the top of Therese's head and Therese nodded into Carol's shoulder.

"Yes, please."

"All right." Carol gently took off Therese's sweat-stained pajama top and rubbed her shoulders as Therese shivered violently, her fever causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. Therese clung to Carol, which made it hard to take off her pajama pants, but then she suddenly clutched the front of her plastic pants and her lower lip began to tremble.

"I'll do it," she whispered. Carol stroked her hair.

"Sweetheart, it's all right. You're just very sick. I really don't mind and I certainly am not going to be angry with you."

"No, Carol, I'll do it," said Therese, sounding like she was trying to be firm, but failing. "It's going to be terrible, and I . . ." She trailed off and started to cry again, her voice sounding cracked and exhausted.

"Nonsense," whispered Carol, kissing Therese's cheek. "Shh, shh. Let me take care of you."

Therese cried through Carol taking off her plastic pants and unpinning her diaper. She cried as Carol quietly wet a washcloth and cleaned her bottom, which did indeed show signs of a rash, and she cried as Carol helped her into the bathwater and then quickly and quietly disposed of the diaper by taking it directly to the trash chute outside the apartment door. She wasn't about to try to send that out with the laundry. Poor Therese didn't need to be reminded of this embarrassing accident, since it upset her so.

Before she came back to Therese in the bathroom, Carol stopped by the kitchen sink to wash her hands and then called Bob to let him know that she wouldn't be returning to the store this afternoon. "My niece is quite ill, and I'd rather keep an eye on her, Bob. I'm sure you understand."

Bob sighed. "I guess so. Carol, we were supposed to drive across town to check out that estate sale. I can go myself, I suppose, but I was counting on you . . ."

Carol resisted rolling her eyes. Men could be such babies. "You managed fine without me before I came," she reminded him, a little recklessly, she belatedly realized. "But I will be back on Monday unless Therese is worse. There's another sale you wanted me to go to then that will last a few days."

Bob agreed, in bad grace, Carol thought, and she hung up the phone. Returning to Therese, who was lying in the bath, her eyes closed, her face flushed alarmingly, Carol quietly removed her clothing and patted Therese's shoulder. "Move up a little bit, darling."

Therese obediently moved, though it seemed to cost her quite an effort. Carol settled in the warm water behind Therese, letting the smaller woman lie back against her chest. She kissed Therese's head and Therese moved so that she was facing Carol.

"There. That's a bit better, isn't it?" Carol kissed Therese's forehead, and Therese rested her cheek against Carol's breasts. She sighed and ran a finger over Carol's nipple, and Carol smiled knowingly.

"I don't think we've tried nursing in the bath, have we?"

Therese shook her head. "No. Could I?" She looked a little shy, and Carol rubbed her lower back under the water.

"Of course, sweetheart."

Therese latched on and closed her eyes. Carol leaned back against the back of the tub, closing her eyes, as well. If Therese had to be sick, at least they could have some peace and quiet in the soporific afternoon. Carol heard the birds chirping out the open bathroom window, and a little breeze blew in and cooled her wet skin. Therese shivered as it hit her skin, and Carol cradled her a little closer, gently splashing some water over Therese's shoulders and trying to keep her warm.

After a moment, though, Therese unlatched and looked up at Carol, grimacing. Carol kissed her nose. "What's the matter, Therese?"

"They're hard and I don't like it," pouted Therese, and Carol felt surprised.

"What's hard, angel?"

"Your . . . breasts. They don't feel like they normally do," complained Therese, and she gently cupped one of Carol's breasts, which was more sore now that Therese had nursed a little. "It's all hard."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry," said Carol. "I haven't been feeling myself lately. I missed my time of the month last month, and well, I might be due for it soon. Maybe that's why they don't feel like they usually do. You're having a hard time today, aren't you?" She stroked Therese's damp hair, and Therese nodded, but she still latched back on, closing her eyes.

"Well, it doesn't seem to bother you that much," teased Carol gently, and she let Therese nurse for awhile. Therese switched sides after about ten minutes, and then promptly fell asleep, her cheek pillowed against Carol's chest. 

"No, no, darling," murmured Carol, gently patting Therese's cheek so she'd wake up. "Not in the bath. Let's get you washed and then you can have a nap."

Therese whimpered, but she obediently sat up and let Carol wash her hair and her body, shivering as she was rinsed down. Then she turned and helped Carol wash her own hair, but she stopped after a few minutes and leaned, exhausted, against the side of the tub as Carol rinsed her hair. 

"It's naptime for you, little one," said Carol, as she got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around herself. She helped Therese out and wrapped her tightly in her towel before she had time to get cold. Therese snuggled against Carol for a moment, but then she clutched her abdomen. 

"Carol, you have to go," she said urgently, and quickly turned to sit on the toilet. Carol obediently left, but she heard Therese begin to cry as her bowels emptied themselves violently. Carol quietly closed the bathroom door and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

After she'd put on a light cotton skirt and a sleeveless silk blouse, she sat at the vanity and blow-dried her hair while Therese finished in the bathroom. When Therese came out, she looked absolutely spent and a little green. Carol clucked under her tongue.

"Let's get you into your pajamas and in bed. I'd usually insist you blow-dry your hair, but . . ." Carol trailed off as Therese shook her head and laid down on the bed, her chest heaving with the effort of walking from the bathroom back into the bedroom. A light sheen of sweat shone on her forehead.

Carol diapered Therese, making sure there was extra cloth in case of another accident, and helped her into her old blue polka-dot pajamas, tucking her into bed securely. Therese immediately turned onto her side and yawned, then looked up at Carol.

"Carol, can I nurse?" Therese looked close to tears, and Carol, for the first time, started to feel a little worried. She hadn't seen Therese this sick before - she hadn't even seen Rindy this sick before, not even when Rindy had the measles. Carol placed a cool hand on Therese's forehead and drew back as it seemed the bath hadn't helped to bring her fever down at all. Therese's forehead felt like it was on fire.

"I'm going to take your temperature, sweetie. Then, yes, you can nurse." Carol wasn't about to deny Therese anything at this point. "I'm concerned that you haven't seemed to have anything to eat today. I think you need to eat at some point."

"I don't want to," said Therese, her chin starting to quiver. "Please, Carol."

Carol sighed. "All right. You don't have to right now. But later, you're going to have some soup. And I'm going to get you some water. I want you to stay hydrated, sweetie."

Therese nodded, and Carol left to get the thermometer out of the bathroom, along with Therese's glass of water. Settling against the headboard, she took Therese in her arms and cradled her securely, pillows tucked under Therese's head and the covers keeping her warm. Therese started to unbutton Carol's blouse, but Carol shook her head.

"No, no," she reproved Therese, and Therese's lip came out. "I'm going to take your temperature first. Then you can nurse." Carol slipped the thermometer in Therese's mouth and checked the bedside alarm clock. "Three minutes."

Therese closed her eyes, and Carol unbuttoned her blouse, unhooking the front of her bra. Her breasts suddenly twinged at the thought of Therese nursing, and she had a sudden memory of cradling newborn Rindy and feeling the same twinge. The nurses at the time had told her that the twinges and welling feelings would go away after awhile, as long as she kept bottle-feeding the baby and not nursing her. Carol had a wild thought that she might actually be ready to let down her milk for Therese - before she realized that she hadn't ever really breastfed anyone before and the idea was preposterous. She must be just extremely hormonal.

Therese opened her eyes and spoke around the thermometer, her voice a little muffled. "Can I take it out yet?"

Carol checked the clock. Three minutes had passed. She nodded and took the thermometer out of Therese's mouth and tried not to show her alarm as the mercury read 103 degrees Fahrenheit. "Oh, baby. You definitely have a fever." 

Therese tossed her head irritably. "I know. Carol, can't I nurse now? Please?" Her voice was so plaintive that Carol leaned down to kiss her hot forehead. 

"Yes, Therese. But I'd like you to take some aspirin first." Carol placed a finger against Therese's lips as she started to open her mouth to protest. "Your fever is 103; I'm not about to let you go unmedicated, sweetheart. That's very dangerous."

Therese frowned but obediently sat up and swallowed the pills, taking a long slug of water, draining half the glass. Carol was glad to see Therese drinking, and she checked her diaper as Therese placed the glass back on the nightstand. She was dry.

"I'm still dry," said Therese irritably. "Don't I let you know usually that I'm wet?" 

"Oh my goodness," said Carol a little playfully. "Someone is fussy. Come on, we'd better let you nurse. And no, you usually don't say anything," she said to Therese, who was already latched on and nursing intently. Therese closed her eyes and frowned, and Carol laughed, stroking Therese's hair. Clearly, Therese was not in the mood for any sort of teasing today.

Therese fell asleep against Carol, her hot body making Carol feel sweaty despite the air conditioning. But the aspirin started to work - after about half an hour, Therese didn't feel quite as hot. Carol gently disentangled herself from Therese, but the girl woke up a little, her eyes unfocused.

"No, don't go," she murmured, and Carol took Therese's hand.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart."

Therese closed her eyes again.


	2. Chapter 2

Therese came awake at some point during the afternoon, her head spinning, her eyes aching. 

Her throat felt like it had almost closed up. She tried to swallow, then gagged. Her lower lips curved down in a pout and she slitted her eyes open, squinting against the afternoon light. She stretched a hand across the smooth covers and it came into contact with Carol's thigh. Carol looked down at her and smiled sympathetically, her eyes full of concern.

"Hello, darling. Oh, sweetie." Carol's cool hand brushed across Therese's forehead, and Therese gagged again, feeling miserable. Carol turned and picked up Therese's glass of water, and Therese sat up, feeling her headache knock against her skull and her body start to shake with the effort of moving. She gulped at the water, feeling her throat open a little, but the effort of drinking was almost too much, and she lay back against the pillows, exhausted, her face flushed.

"Well, you slept for a few hours at least," said Carol, her soft voice comforting. Therese tried to nod, but instead, she just closed her eyes.

Carol looked concerned. "I think we ought to take your temperature again, Therese. I'm not sure the aspirin is still working."

Therese tried to talk, but her voice came out as a whispery croak, which surprised her. "I already know I have a fever, Carol."

"Yes, Therese, but I don't want your fever to get too high," said Carol, patiently, though Therese could hear a slight note of irritation. She obediently opened her lips, and Carol slid the tiny glass thermometer between them. Therese sighed and closed her eyes again.

When she opened them, Carol was looking more than concerned - now, she looked worried. "It's not going down. 103 degrees is very high for an adult."

"I'm just sick, Carol," whispered Therese, and she would have tossed her head in irritation if she'd had the energy. But her abdomen growled, and then it cramped, and her face crumpled as she clutched her belly. "Carol, I need to go . . . "

But before she could even think of heaving herself off the bed, she already knew it was too late, and she knew Carol did, too. Therese began to cry. What was this illness? She'd never been this sick in her entire life. And now she supposed she'd need another bath . . . she rubbed her fists into her sore eyes and let out a cracked wail.

"Oh, Therese. Oh, sweetheart." Carol gathered her poor sick girl into her arms again. "It's all right. It was an accident."

Therese didn't say anything; she just turned her face into Carol's blouse, uncaring. If this was what she was going to come to, then she'd rather just die. Carol kissed her hair and rubbed Therese's back.

"I don't want another bath," whimpered Therese, looking up at Carol pleadingly, and Carol smiled.

"You don't have to have another bath, Therese. I'll clean you up right here in bed. And I think we'll get a bowl or a pot or something." Carol didn't say anything more, but Therese knew what she meant, and she nodded. It would certainly save her from trying to get to the toilet when she was this weak. Carol kissed Therese's hair and then her forehead. "And then more aspirin, my little one. You are starting to scare me just a bit."

Truth be told, Therese was starting to scare herself. The last severe illness she'd had had been measles, and she certainly had never been as sick as this, though she remembered it being miserable. Maybe it was the flu? Therese lay on her back as Carol got up to fetch a wet cloth and a fresh diaper, and rubbed her sore, aching eyes. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she was so sore and uncomfortable. Every part of her body was aching.

When Carol came back, she rubbed Therese's sore tummy. "My poor sweetheart. I'm so sorry you're feeling this unwell."

"I feel awful," whined Therese. She didn't even move as Carol took off her pajama pants and started to lower her plastic pants, but she did screw her eyes shut so that she didn't have to watch Carol change her. Therese wished herself a million miles away.

"Oh, Therese. You're getting quite a terrible rash. I wonder if we should risk you going without diapers for awhile. I'll be right here in case you need to go." Carol wiped Therese gently, but Therese's skin still stung, and she whimpered.

"I can't do that, Carol. You know that," Therese whimpered. "I'll wet the bed. Or worse," she said darkly, and Carol couldn't help a chuckle.

"We have a rubber sheet on the bed," she reminded Therese. "I'm sure we can deal with any accidents. I just want you to be more comfortable, darling."

"I'm not comfortable!" Therese rubbed her eyes again. "Why does everything have to hurt so much?"

Carol rubbed Therese's belly again, soothingly. "Your fever is very high and your body is trying to fight it. I know you feel miserable, Therese." She pinned on Therese's clean diaper securely, but left her plastic pants off. "I will deal with any accidents," she said to Therese firmly, and then left to wash her hands.

Therese put a thumb into her mouth and tried to comfort herself while Carol was gone, but she took it out in another minute, hating the taste of it and feeling like she wanted to throw up. When Carol came back, looking tired and worried, Therese vowed she would let Carol have some time to herself and try to go back to sleep. But her eyes filled with tears, unbidden, and she wanted nothing more than to be held in Carol's arms. Only Carol knew how to make her feel better . . . safe and loved.

Therese didn't say anything as Carol got back up onto the bed, but her lips moved in an unconscious sucking motion and her hands twitched with the effort of not reaching out to Carol, and Carol smiled down at her, anyway.

"Would you like to nurse for awhile, Therese?"

"I don't want to bother you," mumbled Therese. "You don't have to."

Carol clucked under her tongue and her face changed; it was empathetic, sweet, understanding. "You're not bothering me, sweetie. I love you. I don't mind taking care of you."

Therese shook her head and began to cry. "You'll start to hate me," she wept. "I can't help it, Carol; I just need you. I don't know why this is happening to me!"

"Oh, Therese. Shh." Carol held her arms out to Therese, and with a mammoth effort, Therese moved so that Carol could cradle her and rock her. Carol stroked Therese's hair and hushed her for awhile, until Therese's tears stopped and she could take a sip or two of water. 

"Now. I think that's the fever talking, and I think we really ought to make sure you're taking your medication on time. Why, you're practically on fire, darling. Fevers can really turn your head, now, can't they?"

At Carol's soothing, soft tone, Therese nodded, and obediently swallowed more aspirin and water. Her throat felt better when there was cool water on it, and she closed her eyes as she sipped. Carol looked at Therese speculatively, supporting the glass so that Therese wouldn't drop it.

"Would you prefer a bottle over a glass, darling?"

Therese nodded, and Carol kissed her forehead. "All right. Once you're asleep, I'll put some water in a bottle for you. I think it might be easier for you to stay hydrated that way." She let go of Therese to unbutton her blouse, but Therese couldn't stand not having Carol's arms around her, and she whimpered and shook her head, putting her clammy little hands over Carol's.

"Well, Therese, I can't nurse you if I can't undress," said Carol, sounding a little amused, but Therese moved Carol's fingers and started to unbutton Carol's shirt herself. "I just want you to hold me," she whispered. "If you don't mind."

Carol usually didn't like Therese to unbutton her blouse or unhook her bra when it came to nursing; she had once reminded Therese that they were Carol's breasts, so Carol would decide and control if she would let Therese have access to them. Therese had been chastened, but it didn't stop her from sometimes getting a little impatient and needing her hands swatted away. Today, however, she just pulled Therese closer and let Therese do the work, saying nothing at all.

Once Carol's breasts were exposed, Therese sighed a long sigh and, a little eagerly, latched on. Carol jumped a little bit and winced. "Careful, darling. Be a little more gentle, please."

Therese kneaded at Carol's breast, trying to figure out why they seemed so hard and strange-feeling. Carol made a noise of half-pleasure, half-pain, and removed Therese's hand. "Sweetheart, please don't do that."

"Why are they like this?" Therese unlatched and pouted. "I don't like them like this!"

Carol sighed. "I don't know, Therese. I'm sorry they're not to your liking. I haven't been feeling well myself. I'm not sure if it's the change of life, or if there's something else wrong . . ." Carol looked worried and Therese felt a little badly. She stroked Carol's left breast tenderly, and Carol smiled, a little fondly.

"I'm sorry," said Therese penitently. "I'll be careful if they're sore. I hope you're not feeling too badly," she said, and kissed Carol's left nipple sweetly, which made Carol laugh a little bit. 

"I'm just fine, darling. It's all right."

Therese latched back on and nursed quietly for several long minutes, hearing both Carol's soothing heartbeat and Carol humming above her, rocking her securely. Therese started to feel a little better as the aspirin began to bring down her fever, and her headache lessened. She closed her eyes, feeling warm, dry, and loved.

What happened next was so strange, she swore she had dreamed it.

//~//

Carol was much more concerned about Therese than she was letting on. The girl was almost completely not herself, and the rash on her bottom appeared to be spreading up her back and down her thighs. Her fever was raging, and her clinginess, while usual for feverish Therese, was almost unprecedented. When Carol walked out of the room to fetch more water, Therese had burst into tears and reached her arms out to Carol, begging her not to go. Carol imagined that if Therese had the strength, she would have gotten up and followed her into the kitchen.

Therese nursed contentedly now. Carol traced her finger over Therese's flushed cheeks and darkly-circled eyes. Despite her fever going down, the flush on Therese's face had not lessened; in fact, Therese seemed more flushed than before. At Carol's touch, Therese crinkled her eyes in a smile and nuzzled closer to Carol, kneading her breast a little bit again, as she was sometimes wont to do. The kneading hurt, but Carol didn't have the heart to tell Therese to stop when she seemed finally contented for the first time all day.

But suddenly, Therese's eyes flew open, and in another moment, she unlatched, looking half-horrified, half-shocked.

"Therese, dear heart, what's the matter?" Carol felt a little shocked, herself, looking at Therese's face. "What's wrong?"

Therese just looked at Carol. "Carol . . . are you sick? Have you just not told me you're sick?"

"Therese, I really don't know what this is all about. What's the matter, sweetie? You look like you've seen a ghost." Carol tried to calm Therese, rubbing her back, trying to get her to relax. "I'm not sick as far as I know. I haven't seen a doctor yet, though. And if I were sick; well, good Lord, darling, of course I would tell you. I wouldn't keep that from you." Carol felt a little hurt, and Therese looked slightly chastened. But she frowned.

"Then what is happening? Did I . . . did I do this?"

"Did you do what, Therese?" Carol felt herself closing her eyes, trying to hold onto her patience. "As far as I know, you haven't done anything!"

Therese ran a finger over Carol's nipple and held it up to Carol. It was shining slightly, as if wet, and appeared coated in a translucent substance. Carol just stared at it for a moment before everything suddenly clicked.

"Therese . . . I'm not sick, baby. I'm not sick at all, in fact." Carol started to laugh, and Therese looked hurt. Carol stroked her cheek, still chuckling. "It's milk. It's just milk. That's all."

Therese looked mystified. "It's . . . milk?" Her voice went up uncertainly at the end, and Carol realized that Therese had likely never even seen a baby nursed in her life, let alone realized that some women did still nurse their children. Carol hadn't known any in her set, but she knew it still happened. And as she thought back over the past few weeks, well, her symptoms started to make sense. The soreness, the longing to really nurse Therese, the way her breasts twinged when Therese was upset, her frustration and fierce love for her little girl . . .

A thousand emotions seem to be crossing Therese's face as she lay in Carol's arms, and Carol kissed her forehead. "This happened with Rindy. I was told to stop nursing her and the feelings I was having, and the milk, would dry up. They did, but . . . I guess maybe you've needed me so much lately, it all started again. I know you haven't been feeling well these past few weeks, and well, the milk came back."

"Is this normal?" Therese sounded dangerously close to tears, and Carol made a sympathetic noise. "Sweetheart, it's all right. Don't be frightened."

"But Carol . . . could I have done this? Made them do this?"

Carol cuddled Therese to her. "You had a hand in it, yes," she said, and dropped another kiss on Therese's cheek. "And I think it's normal for my body to respond to my little one's needs. Just in time, too, isn't it? Your refusing to eat anything and all."

Therese's face crumpled, then, and she pushed her face into Carol's breast. "I'm sorry," came up from Carol's chest, muffled and sad. "I didn't mean to make it happen. I didn't mean to make the milk come."

"Oh, angel. Shh. Don't cry." Carol gently tipped Therese's chin up. "The milk came because we needed it. It wouldn't have come if you hadn't needed to nurse. Don't you like it?"

Therese sniffled and rubbed her wrist across her nose. Carol reached over for a tissue and wiped Therese's face, and Therese pouted. "I don't know."

"It might be a little strange." Carol didn't say that it was definitely a little strange for her. She hadn't even realized this could happen.

"It's . . . I don't know." Therese latched on again and sucked, almost experimentally, and Carol chuckled again. Therese unlatched. "There isn't much of it."

"Well, it's just started."

"It's very sweet. It's . . . nice." Therese then hid her face in Carol's chest again in embarrassment, and Carol stroked her hair. Therese popped up and looked shy. "Does it . . . hurt? Now that it's come?"

Carol thought about it for a moment. It didn't hurt, exactly. It felt almost pleasurable in a way. "No, darling. It doesn't hurt. It feels good when you nurse. But if you don't want the milk, we can stop for a few weeks and let it dry up. I don't mind." She rubbed Therese's back.

Therese shook her head slowly. "No. No, I like it. I want the milk," she said shyly, and latched on again. This time, Carol could see her swallowing every so often, and she felt almost relieved that Therese had been so amenable to the whole thing. Secretly, she was confused and a little frightened herself. This was normal, wasn't it?

After awhile, Therese switched sides and started to look like she was going to fall asleep. Carol patted her bottom, unsurprised to find her damp. "If you're going to fall asleep, sweetheart, we need to change you first."

Therese obediently unlatched, and Carol noticed with fond amusement that her lips were a little milky. "All right," she said, sounding exhausted, and Carol sat her up. Without thinking, the way she would have if it had been Rindy she had finished feeding, she patted Therese's back and Therese burped a little bit, looking surprised.

"Good girl," said Carol, and kissed Therese's cheek. "We don't want your tummy to hurt from any trapped wind."

Therese looked a little bemused, but she lay back and let Carol change her. Carol put on her plastic pants. "Just for now. I don't know how long you'll sleep."

Therese closed her eyes and rolled over onto her side, almost before Carol could finish putting her pajama pants back on. "I get it," said Carol, smiling. "Sleep well, sweetheart."

Therese fell asleep almost immediately, her mouth sweetly half-open, and Carol took the opportunity to leave the room and get herself a drink and something to eat. But once she got to the kitchen, she suddenly started to feel a little panicky. 

Was it normal for her to have started to lactate again? Was there actually something wrong with her, as Therese had thought? Carol had a wild idea that she might have some kind of reproductive cancer, and that was enough to send her to the liquor cabinet. She pulled out the bottle of bourbon and poured herself three fingers, trying to ignore the shaking of her fingers and the way the bottle clinked rhythmically against the crystal glass. Truth be told, she was as terrified as Therese had been, though she hadn't wanted to scare Therese while the poor thing was so ill.

Drinking deeply, Carol took stock of the situation. She had been feeling off for a few weeks, but she'd also missed her period, which could be another symptom. Her breasts had been hard and swollen, sore to the touch, only relieved sometimes by Therese's almost constant nursing. That symptom had appeared a few weeks ago, right after a fight she and Therese had had, followed up by Therese nursing practically the entire night, both women crying and holding each other as if they'd never let go.

Perhaps it was that Therese was just nursing more? If a baby nursing less would make milk dry up, wouldn't nursing more make the milk come? It seemed logical to Carol, but she was no scientist. 

Putting aside the problem for now, her thoughts returned to Therese. As sick as her little one was, Carol was still hesitant to call in a doctor. Their whole living situation aside, how would either of them explain Therese's diapers or her touch-hunger for Carol right now? Carol knew from experience that Therese could lapse into delirium when her fever got high, though she'd never seen her with this high of a fever. If Therese was out of her mind, there would be no telling what she might say in front of a stranger who could very well report any same-sex relationship to the police. Carol was quite aware of just how far it could go. Harge had made sure she knew the consequences.

Carol sighed and sat down at the table in the kitchen, crossing her legs and mopping her forehead in the relentless heat.

She supposed they'd have to wait and see.

//~//

Therese was worse that evening. Carol finally gave up and called Abby right when Therese's fever hit 104 degrees Fahrenheit and Therese had thrown up all over herself during a particularly violent gagging episode. While she had obediently opened her mouth for Carol to look inside with a little pen light, right after Carol had cleaned her up and gotten her more aspirin and a bottle filled with water to drink, Carol didn't really know what she was looking at. Therese's tonsils were swollen almost completely across her throat. Her tongue was bright red, mottled white. The tonsils certainly weren't normal but was the tongue? Was Therese in any danger? Carol simply didn't know.

After Carol had gotten Therese back to sleep (and for the first time, was grateful for the fact that Therese was at least getting some nourishment, even if the little bit of breastmilk she was having still concerned Carol slightly), Abby picked up at the hotel she was staying at, on the East Side of the city. "Abby Gerhard."

"Hi, darling. How's the conference?"

"Oh, Carol. Hiya, kiddo. The conference is going well. I've met so many people doing such interesting research. I really think that there might be better ways to save crops without pesticides, if only we can actually harness what some of these insects can do to eliminate other pests. It's been simply fascinating."

Carol smiled. It was always fascinating to Abby, her fixation on bugs. "That's wonderful, Abby."

"So, how's tricks?" Carol heard Abby blow out a mouthful of smoke on the other end of the phone, and suddenly had a craving for a cigarette. Lighting one herself from the pack lying on the hall table, she blew out smoke of her own before she answered.

"Therese is ill. I'm not sure what's wrong with her."

Abby sounded unconcerned. "There are always summer colds going around. She'll be right as rain in a day or two, I'm sure."

"No . . . I don't think this is a cold." Carol tried to keep the worry out of her voice, aiming to sound just as unconcerned as Abby. "Her fever's quite high and she's not eating."

"Well, how high are we talking, Carol? You told me Therese is prone to fevers."

"104." Carol said nothing else, and Abby's voice changed, sounding much more serious.

"Well. That's definitely something to be concerned about."

"Abby, I'd like her to see a doctor." Carol stopped, feeling the stress of the day build behind her eyes. They pricked a bit with tears. "I've never seen her so ill. She's not really keeping anything in, either."

"She's vomiting?"

"Just once, but she has terrible diarrhea. And she's just refusing to eat, and I can't get her to drink much . . ." Carol's voice broke, and Abby's comforting voice came over the line.

"Well, sweetie, have you called the doctor?"

"I can't. You know I can't." Carol sat down on the chair beside the telephone table, feeling her legs weaken a bit. "I can't explain it all, or give Harge more ammunition . . . how would I explain why she's in my bed instead of her own? How would we explain all of her, well, little quirks? I can't call a doctor, but I'm so frightened, Abby." Two tears slipped down Carol's cheeks, and she wiped them away impatiently.

"You couldn't move her?" Abby's voice was gentle, and Carol half-sobbed, half-chuckled.

"Have you tried to move Therese when she's sick? Or been around her when I go out of her sight?"

Abby chuckled a little, herself. "I see. Well, Carol. It's a conundrum."

"Don't you know anyone?" Carol counted on Abby's wide network of contacts for quite a few things. Abby had found Carol's divorce lawyer, and she had introduced her to Bob, Carol's boss at the furniture store. Abby was in contact with a variety of people in the science and medical communities. Surely she'd know someone tolerant?

"I don't know any doctors, sweetie. I'm sorry."

"Anyone?" Carol hated how weak and pleading she sounded, but Abby hushed her a little bit, her voice sibilant and sweet, soothing to Carol's ears.

"I do know a nurse. She's like us."

"A nurse?" Carol would have preferred a doctor, but she'd take what she can get. "Would she . . . consider coming here? I would pay her for her trouble. I can't move Therese right now."

Abby sighed. "She works long hours, Carol. I'm not sure she'd agree. But I can ask her. Let me call you back, all right?"

Carol hung up with Abby and smoked her cigarette, watching the sun set over Madison Avenue through the front windows of the apartment. She sipped her bourbon - her second glass that day - and tried to calm down. Therese was asleep now, and the aspirin would take her fever down to a more manageable level. But it was clear she was getting worse, and Carol had no idea what she might have.

Abby called back within twenty minutes. "She'll come. Her name is Jane Bierman. She lives on the Lower East Side; she said she'd come out tonight if possible. She said Therese's symptoms sounded rather worrying. But Carol - she also said she wasn't sure what she could really do."

"Anything will help. I'm just not sure if Therese should be in the hospital or not." Carol ran a hand through her blonde hair and Abby made a sympathetic noise.

"Keep me posted, all right? Love you."

"I love you. Thank you."

Carol hung up the phone and went in to check on Therese, who was sleeping peacefully, the aspirin working to help her feel better. Carol put a hand on Therese's forehead; the girl's smooth skin was much cooler than it had been earlier.

She hoped Jane could help them. All they could do was wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I got distracted with other things and my energy levels have not been what they usually are. Here's another chapter :)

Therese tossed her head on the pillow and whimpered. Her face was alarmingly flushed and her hair sweaty with her fever. Carol sat beside her on the bed, ostensibly reading, but looking down at her little girl in concern more than she concentrated on the pages.

Jane Bierman, the nurse Abby knew, was due to drop by around seven o'clock, after her shift ended. Carol felt terrible about dragging her out after the woman had worked all day, but Therese was getting no better. In fact, Carol thought as she ran her cool hand over Therese's hot, damp forehead, she was getting alarmingly close to needing serious intervention. 

Therese moved restlessly under Carol's hand and raised one of her damp, hot little hands to hold Carol's palm against her forehead. Then she whimpered again, and let out a cracked sob.

"Oh, darling. I know you feel terrible," murmured Carol. She picked up the damp cloth she had soaking in a bowl of ice-water and wrung it out, gently wiping Therese's hot face. The icy coolness of the cloth seemed to help, but then Therese gagged, and Carol quickly grabbed her bottle of water to place it between Therese's lips. A few sucks, and Therese's eyes closed again, the cloth cooling her momentarily.

Carol checked the clock. It was 6:30; time to get Therese ready.

"Therese? Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me," said Carol gently, rubbing her finger softly against Therese's cheek. Therese's eyes opened, but they were glazed, and Carol knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Carol, I need to nurse," Therese whimpered. Her usually modulated, soft voice was hoarse, and she sounded like talking hurt her throat badly. She rolled over painfully and attached to Carol's skirt, looking up at her, her lower lip trembling. Carol sighed.

"Darling, we're going to have a visitor in a few moments. She's a nurse that Abby knows. I'd like her to take a look at you."

Therese blinked once, twice. She appeared to be trying to parse what Carol was saying, and Carol saw Therese trying to find her usual big self among her little thoughts and feelings. Therese cleared her throat.

"Why do you want her to take a look at me?" Therese rubbed her head, and after a moment, her lower lip trembled again. "Please, Carol?" She held out her arms to Carol, but Carol just stroked her hair. She wanted Therese to hear her.

"Because you're very sick, Therese. I don't think we ought to wait and see anymore; I think it's time that we had someone give us some advice." Carol bit her lip, feeling her own emotions and fear well up behind her eyes. "I'm not sure how to help you right now, baby."

Therese's eyes held a look of alarm at Carol's words. "Carol, am I very sick?" Her voice was plaintive, and this time, Carol did take Therese into her arms.

"Yes, sweetheart. You're quite ill. Your fever isn't staying down. I'd like to have Jane look at you."

Therese snuggled into Carol for a moment, and Carol rocked her for a few moments, letting Therese rest, before she gently rubbed her cheek again so Therese's eyes would open. "Is that all right?"

Therese swallowed painfully, and Carol reached for her bottle, slipping the nipple between Therese's lips and watching her suck thirstily for awhile until she seemed satisfied. Then Therese nodded, just barely.

"I don't want to be sick anymore," she whispered.

"All right, sweetheart. We're going to have to get you ready." Carol checked Therese's diaper, finding it wet. "I'm going to put some panties on you. It's all right," she soothed Therese, who immediately tensed up. "You won't have any accidents and if you do, we'll fix you right up."

"What if it happens in front of her?" whispered Therese. Carol kissed her forehead.

"I'm sure she's seen much worse, darling. I'm not sure she'll even notice if you're covered up. But it won't happen." Carol carefully disentangled herself from Therese and crossed the room, hiding the laundry hamper that held Therese's diaper laundry in the wardrobe. She quietly removed the bottle from the bedside table and went to the bathroom, fetching Therese's water glass and filling it.

She came back and quietly changed Therese, hissing under her breath as it seemed that Therese's rash had spread all over her body at this point. As Carol gently eased off her pajama pants, she noticed that the rash seemed worse in the crook of Therese's knees and elbows. It had spread up her tummy. Trying not to chill her little girl, Carol gently raised her shirt to see that it had spread onto Therese's chest, too. She pulled Therese's shirt back down and finished dressing her.

"All done." She leaned down to kiss Therese's forehead and frowned a little as it seemed to be getting hot again. Just then, the buzzer sounded. 

Therese opened her eyes. "Don't go."

"I have to go, sweetie. I'll be back in just a moment." She covered Therese up securely and left the room, trying not to see Therese's trembling lower lip. Leaving Therese right now was hard; pretending that they were nothing more than just lovers would be even harder. Therese was so clingy right now that Carol knew she might have to be out of the room, or at least out of Therese's sight.

Carol pressed the buzzer and heard Jane climbing the stairs with a heavy tread. It really was too bad to call her out at this time of night, thought Carol. But there was nothing else. The next step would be to take Therese to the hospital, and that may be what would happen if they couldn't get her fever down. The aspirin was working, but not enough.

When Carol opened the door to a ponderous knocking, she didn't know what she expected. It certainly wasn't the small, dumpy woman standing in front of her, dressed in a rumpled nurse's uniform and spotless white shoes. Jane Bierman looked tired and disinterested. Her face was set into a permanent frown, and her hair was messily scraped back into a bun. Carol could see the pins where her nurse's cap would sit on top of her frizzy head.

Jane didn't say hello. She just walked straight in. "You must be Carol Aird," she said, her flat New York accent grating to Carol's ears. "Abby told me that you needed some help tonight? But before we start, I'm just going to say - I ain't no doctor, lady. You'd have been better off calling one. There's not much I can do if she's really sick except call an ambulance for you."

Carol blinked in the onslaught of Jane's words, spat out as she removed her shoes. The heat in the tiny foyer was stifling, and Jane wiped her forehead. "I don't suppose I could get some water before I go in?"

"Of course," breathed Carol. "Please make yourself at home. I won't be a moment." She cursed herself slightly for forgetting her manners. How awful! Carol blamed it on her worry about Therese and quickly filled a glass of water, dropping in some ice cubes. The fans weren't doing much to push the humid air around tonight. She was grateful that at least the bedroom would be cool.

Jane took the glass from her without thanks and drank half of it in a few gulps. "That's better. Well, where is she?"

"This way," Carol murmured faintly, a little shocked and now definitely wary about letting this woman around her very sick little Therese. But she turned and led the way down the darkening hallway to the bedroom door. She knew that Jane wasn't going to judge them, and she certainly wouldn't turn them in, which was Carol's biggest fear, but Carol felt her heart quicken with anxiety as Jane pushed open the door.

But if Carol had expected Jane to be as brusque and no-nonsense with Therese as she had been with Carol, she was mistaken. Jane's entire demeanour changed the minute she walked through the door. She softened and became gentle, walking immediately to the side of the bed to brush Therese's sweaty bangs out of her miserable little face.

"Hello, sweetie. You must be Therese. I'm Jane; I'll be looking after you today."

Therese tossed her head and pouted, saying nothing, but letting out a whimper. Jane hushed her. "Shh, shh. Oh, I can see you're a little under the weather. Poor thing. That's quite a fever." Over her shoulder to Carol, Jane said, "When was the last time you took her temperature or gave her any medication?"

"I took it about two and a half hours ago. It was 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I gave her aspirin then."

"Hmm." Jane ran a hand over Therese's forehead again, the hand that had been on her icy glass of water, and Therese closed her eyes. "I'd like to take it again, if you don't mind, sweetheart." She directed this last to Therese, who just turned her head, moaning a little. "Oh, I know you must feel terrible. But I have to get a reading so that we can figure out how to bring that fever down."

"Let her take it, please, Therese," said Carol, and Therese looked at Carol, then, her chin starting to quiver. Carol quickly shook her head, and Therese bit her lip, clearly trying to quell her need for Carol. She managed to stay quiet, but not before a tiny whimper came out and cut Carol straight to the heart.

If Jane noticed anything, she didn't say. She asked Therese to open her mouth and shone a tiny penlight into her throat before slipping a thermometer into Therese's mouth and checking her pulse, counting under her breath as she looked at her watch. After a few moments, she took the thermometer out of Therese's mouth and looked at her, smiling sympathetically. The smile transformed her whole face, and for a brief second, Therese's dimples showed a little in response.

"Well, you're at 101, which isn't ideal, but it's not 104. I suspect that fever's going back up, and that ain't good. That throat also is quite a mess." She looked up at Carol. "Pulse is a little fast, too. She's a little bit early for more aspirin, but I'm guessing part of the issue is that you're waiting too long to give her more medication. Waiting the full four hours gives the fever a chance to come back. Start dosing her at three and a half hours."

Carol nodded, but she looked down at Therese in concern and then finally turned back to Jane. "But what is this? I've never seen anyone so ill."

"It's scarlet fever," said Jane, standing up to face Carol. "And I'm afraid it's pretty contagious. If you haven't had it, you're gonna get it."

"I've had it," said Carol firmly, remembering vaguely having the sore throat and rash when she was in her teens. "But she's got a terrible rash; I've never seen anything like it, and I've got a little girl of my own," she finished, swallowing down the painful lump that always threatened to form in her throat whenever she talked of Rindy. "And I don't remember anything like it when I had it."

Jane picked up her bag from the floor. "Chances are, lady, you had it when you were a kid, right? Well, kids don't usually get it quite as bad as adults do. And Therese is very sick, make no mistake. If you can't get that fever to stay down tonight, you're gonna have to take her to the hospital. Now," she said, turning back to Therese. "I can't write prescriptions, obviously, but you're gonna have to get her some penicillin if you want her to start feeling better. I highly suggest you go to the hospital tonight, in fact."

"No," moaned Therese, tossing her head on the pillow and rolling over onto her side, away from Jane. "No hospital."

"Therese, honey, do you understand how sick you are?" Jane's voice was gentle, but for the first time all night, Carol heard a slight hint of concern. "You need some antibiotics to fight the infection. A doctor has to prescribe those for you; I don't have anything that I can give you."

"No hospital," whimpered Therese. Her eyes were starting to look a little glazed, and Jane exchanged a look of concern with Carol as Therese started to cry. "I don't want to."

"Therese, darling . . ." Carol trailed off, at a loss. "I'm not sure I can move her like this. She's really quite ill."

Jane shrugged and started walking towards the door. "Well, I can't do anything for you except maybe run her a cool bath to try to bring down her fever. She's not due for another dose of aspirin for at least forty-five minutes. I can call an ambulance, but it'll cost you."

"Cost isn't an issue," Carol practically snapped, then felt badly. This woman was only trying to help. She tried to modulate her voice. "I mean, I'm sorry. Do you think she needs to have an ambulance called?"

Jane turned back and looked at Therese, who was whimpering softly into her pillows. "Well, I don't like the look of her. Lady, I think you really should have called a doctor instead of me. I get why - trust me, I do - but she doesn't look good and she really should have seen someone earlier today." Jane reached into her bag and pulled out a small black address book. "In fact, I think I'm gonna make a judgement call, here, and ask to use your telephone. I know several on-call physicians who would come out tonight."

Carol closed her eyes for a moment, understanding everything this meant. They could be turned in if anything was suspected. Harge could find out more and use it to deny Carol any access to Rindy. It could all unravel, and quickly. But she knew that Therese's health mattered more.

"All right," she whispered. "You can use the phone, certainly."

"Thanks." Jane went to walk out of the room, but not before Therese started muttering under her breath. Both women stopped at the door to look at her, and Carol came back in to sit next to her. 

"Therese? Sweetheart, did you have something to ask Jane?"

"Don't want to be a bother," muttered Therese. "Don't need the hospital. It's going to cost too much. Sister Alicia said calling the doctor is too much money."

Carol frowned and looked up at Jane before turning back to Therese. "Therese, you're not with Sister Alicia. We're going to call the doctor to make you better."

"No, no, it's too much money." Therese's eyes flew open, then. "It's just a chill. It's just a little chill."

Jane came back in the room and attempted to put her hand on Therese's forehead, but Therese shook her off and moaned. Jane frowned. "She seems to be going into a bit of a fever spike. Can you start running a bath, please? Lukewarm water. We don't want to chill her."

Carol nodded and immediately left the room, but not before she heard Therese cry out. "No! No, we don't have the money for that!"

Carol found herself holding back tears as she started to run the bath, and she impatiently wiped her eyes. _Keep it together, Carol,_ she told herself, and sat up a little straighter. Therese always worried about money, even though she knew their savings accounts were more than healthy. Therese worked so many overtime hours that she always had a fair bit to put into savings, and Harge ensured, grudgingly, that Carol was well provided for. Most of that Carol diverted to the account she'd set up for her trust fund and investment dividends. They mostly lived from Carol's furniture store salary and Therese's main paycheque, dipping into savings for incidentals like the air conditioner. They were never, ever short of money, but Therese worried all the same, sometimes poring over the budgets and bills on Saturday mornings, making sure they saved where they could. Carol had never questioned it - it was just one of Therese's little quirks, and Carol had never had to worry about any financial chores before the divorce - but she found herself understanding for the first time why Therese worried so much.

Jane came into the bathroom with a set face. Carol couldn't hear much of what was going on in the bedroom, but Jane looked concerned. "She's asking for you. She's a bit upset. I'll carry on here."

Carol nodded and went back into the bedroom, where Therese was sobbing. "Oh, dear heart. Oh, shh." Carol sat down on the bed next to Therese and leaned down to kiss her hair.

"Mama," wept Therese. "Mama, Mama."

Carol just stroked Therese's hair, her eyes filling with tears. "Therese, love. It's Carol. I'm right here. Don't cry."

"Mama," Therese sobbed, holding out her arms, looking at Carol right in the eyes. "I want Mama."

"Oh, darling. I'm so sorry. Mama isn't here. But I'm here. Come here. Shh, come here to me." Carol took Therese into her arms and Therese cuddled into them, turning her hot face into Carol's chest and nuzzling against Carol's breasts. Carol leaned down to kiss Therese's forehead and felt a familiar welling in her chest, something she hadn't felt since Rindy had been a newborn. She pulled away a little, still cradling Therese.

"There. Feeling a little better?" She stroked Therese's cheek, and Therese sighed shakily.

"Mama," she murmured, and Carol's heartstrings tugged. 

"I'm so sorry, Therese. I don't know where she is. But I'm right here. We're going to take care of you and make you all better."

Just then, Jane came back into the room. "I'm ready for her."

"All right," replied Carol. "I'll just get her undressed and we'll be right there." She waited until Jane had gone out of the room and then got up, gently peeling back Therese's covers to expose her body slowly, trying not to chill her. Therese's body was hot and sweaty, though, and she just appeared to relax as the cool air of the room enveloped her, though she clutched herself and whimpered.

"Oh, dear," murmured Carol. "You've had a little accident, sweetheart. It's all right. We're going to give you a nice cool bath to bring down that fever." She started to slide Therese's pants off, and Therese whimpered.

"No. No bath."

"Yes, Therese. Then we're going to give the doctor a call and get you some medicine."

Therese didn't argue after that, and Carol quietly undressed her and then wrapped her in the blue blanket that was at the end of the bed, pulling up the covers to hide the wet spot on the sheets from Jane. She then picked her up easily and brought her into the bathroom, where Jane was waiting.

Jane looked faintly surprised at the sight of Therese in Carol's arms, but she didn't say anything. She just moved aside so that Carol could help Therese into the bath. Immediately, Therese began to cry as soon as she hit the water, and Carol's brow furrowed again as she tried to hold back her own tears.

"I'm so sorry, Therese."

"It's all right, sweetie. I know it's not very nice," said Jane, her voice gentle, and Therese calmed down a little, though she covered herself the best she could. She seemed a little more alert and a lot less delirious. Jane placed a cool cloth over Therese's forehead and then checked her watch. "It's a little early, but it is past the three hour mark. I think we could give her some aspirin, then I'd like you to sit with her while I call Dr. Green."

"Of course," said Carol, getting up and bringing the aspirin back from the bedroom. Therese, slumped in the bath, obediently swallowed the aspirin and then whimpered, closing her eyes again.

"That will help," murmured Jane. "Just keep the water on her shoulders, and change the cloth when it starts getting warm. We need to keep her cool."

She disappeared, and Carol sat beside Therese, gently splashing water over her shoulders. She didn't say anything for a few moments, knowing Therese was falling asleep. Through the open bathroom door, she heard Jane on the phone.

"Yes, it's a case of scarlet fever. Young woman, in her mid-twenties, maybe? High fever and she seems a bit dehydrated. She needs a shot of penicillin for sure, and a prescription. I wouldn't count out taking her to the hospital tonight, but that's your call, Dr. Green. We've got her in the bath right now to bring down her fever. A little episode, yes."

Carol looked down at Therese. The telltale red rash was now covering the majority of her body, and her flushed face glowed above the water. Looking at her, Carol wondered how she could miss the scarlet fever, but she remembered dimly learning from a book of childhood diseases she'd read when Rindy had been born that it usually took awhile for the rash to show.

The real concern was the febrile episode Therese had just had. The delirium had been more than alarming, though Rindy had had a similar episode when she'd had the measles. Thinking of how Therese had called out for her mama, her voice holding a hint of an Eastern European accent as she'd pronounced the word, made Carol tear up slightly. Her breasts twinged in response, and she felt wetness on her chest.

Carol stared down at herself uncomprehendingly for a moment until she understood what had happened. She'd leaked, and noticeably, too. Two spots the size of a fifty-cent piece stained her white blouse. While she was sure she didn't have much milk even still, apparently it was starting to come in. 

Carol realized she'd have to change her blouse right at the time Jane came back in. Carol quickly turned so that Jane couldn't see the front of her blouse, and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Dr. Green will be here in about twenty minutes. How's she doing?"

"She's asleep, I think," said Carol, moving so that Jane could sit on the toilet beside Therese in the tub. Jane removed the cloth and put a hand against Therese's forehead and cheek, and she smiled slightly.

"Well, her fever is going down, and quite a lot. Feel here," she said, and grabbed Carol's hand without asking, pressing it against Therese's skin. Therese murmured a little in her sleep, shifting away from the touch, but not before Carol felt the relative coolness of her cheek. She blinked suddenly as her vision blurred, and Jane gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Anyway, I think we'll avoid the hospital tonight if you are very careful to stay on top of her fever. I'll watch her if you want to lay out some fresh clothing for her."

Carol belatedly remembered she needed to change the bottom sheet on the bed. "Thank you."

After changing her blouse and bra, Carol quietly stripped the bed without disturbing the top sheet and comforter and put their second-to-last bottom sheet on the bed, laying out a pair of light blue cotton pajamas for Therese. 

She was just so grateful that the crisis appeared to be past.

//~//

Carol picked up the bag of laundry, ready to be sent out as a rush job tomorrow morning, and placed it by the front door. They would never go to the expense of sending out laundry on Saturdays, mostly because Therese wouldn't hear of it - she still had an old wringer-washer she'd brought from her old apartment. But Carol was beyond exhausted and the idea of washing sheets herself was beyond her just at the moment.

Dr. Green had quickly given Therese a shot of penicillin within a moment of seeing her. Therese had whimpered, but she'd taken the shot well, considering her self-professed fear of needles due to an unsympathetic nurse when she had been a child in the Home, getting vaccinated for smallpox. Her fever had stayed relatively low, under 100F for the first time all day, and she lay asleep in the bedroom, securely diapered and covered up, the bottle of pills on the bedside table. Dr. Green had taken the liberty of filling the prescription himself at the hospital where he and Jane worked before he'd come over, and Carol had been so grateful that she'd given him extra money for his effort, and Jane, too.

Carol sipped from her glass of bourbon, happy that Therese seemed to be much more content. She rubbed a foot up and down her leg, feeling the exhaustion start to set in. Dr. Green had warned her that she was at risk for strep throat and had given her a shot of penicillin, too, as a prevention against any infection. Carol ruefully rubbed her hip, but was grateful for the extra care.

Just then, she heard Therese begin to whimper from the bedroom, and she got up, wandering down the dark, cool hall to where her little one was supposed to be asleep.

Therese was sitting up in bed, faintly surprising Carol, who hadn't seen her sitting up all day. She turned towards the light from the opening door and held out her arms to Carol, who immediately went to her, settling with Therese back against the headboard, kissing her still-warm forehead and cheeks. Therese was warm, but she wasn't hot, so Carol relaxed a little.

"Hello, angel."

"Carol, I need you," Therese murmured, turning immediately to touch the buttons on Carol's blouse. "I need to nurse."

"I think you should nurse," said Carol, smiling a little at the faint surprise on Therese's face. "You haven't had anything to eat all day, darling."

Therese settled against Carol, latching on a little tentatively after Carol had unbuttoned her blouse. She still seemed a little wary of the milk, but quickly closed her eyes and nursed raptly, her eyes closing, her jaw working sweetly as Carol stroked her hair.

Therese didn't nurse long. She was too tired to do much of anything, and she unlatched only a few minutes after asking. She lay against Carol's chest for a moment, her lips milky in the half-light, and murmured, "Mama."

Immediately Carol put a hand on her forehead, but Therese didn't feel any different than she had before. She just smiled, nuzzling closer to Carol. Carol sighed. "Sweetheart . . ." She trailed off. How could anyone tell the person they loved most in the world that they couldn't see their mother?

But Therese opened her blue-green eyes and looked up at Carol, smiling. Her eyes were clear and steady, and Carol kissed her forehead.

And Therese said, "Mama," and nuzzled back into Carol, closing her eyes again.


	4. Chapter 4

Therese slept most of the night without needing another dose of aspirin for her fever. She did, however, wake up several times whimpering in pain and scratching her rash. Carol pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Shh, sweetheart. Oh, I know you don't feel well. My poor baby."

"It's so itchy, Carol," Therese pouted. She scratched her arm, where, in the half-light, the garish red circles of the rash gleamed. Carol looked at her arm and then up at Therese's miserable face. 

"Well, I'm sure I've got some calamine lotion that might help." She slipped out of bed, and Therese sat up, slipping her thumb into her mouth, and then promptly removing it again with a grimace. Carol smiled at her. "Doesn't taste very good?"

"It tastes awful. Carol, I need you." Therese tossed her head in irritation. "I'm thirsty."

"All right, darling. I'll bring some water, too." 

In the bathroom, Carol found the calamine lotion she usually used for mosquito bites and rashes with Rindy in the back of the medicine cabinet. She filled Therese's bottle with water and brought it back, hoping that the girl would have fallen back to sleep. Instead, she met Therese's eyes across the room and had to stifle a laugh at her pouting face. At least she was doing well enough to pout, thought Carol.

"Here's your water, Therese." Carol handed Therese the bottle and then, after Therese had sucked thirstily at it for awhile, uncapped the bottle of lotion. "Where do you need it, darling?"

Therese squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't know. Everywhere. It's so itchy." And suddenly, she burst into tears, rubbing at her red and slightly swollen face. "I just need you."

"Oh, Therese. Shh." Carol climbed into bed beside her baby and took Therese in her arms, brushing Therese's sweaty bangs away from her forehead. Therese turned her face into Carol's nightgown and let out a long, shuddering sigh. At that, Carol's breasts twinged, and she stroked Therese's hair.

"Would you like to nurse, sweetie?"

Therese nodded against Carol's nightgown. "I'm thirsty."

Carol suddenly realized what Therese had meant by her earlier insistence about being thirsty. "You can just ask me," she said softly, untying the front of her nightgown. "It's all right, darling."

Therese immediately latched on, her latch stronger than it had been in the past twenty-four hours. Carol felt a strange welling feeling in her breasts as Therese sucked, and then suddenly Therese choked a little bit, unlatching to wipe her mouth. She looked confused.

"It came out so fast!"

"I think the milk is probably in now," said Carol, trying not to feel uncomfortable by this turn of events. "And you've been nursing almost like normal, haven't you?" She reached over to the nightstand and took a tissue from the box, wiping Therese's face, and then smiling as Therese latched back on, sucking more slowly this time. She kneaded Carol's breast a little, almost unconsciously. The feeling was strange, but almost pleasurable, and Therese swallowed more often when she kneaded.

Holding Therese close like this and knowing that she was finally taking in some nourishment made Carol relax. She closed her eyes and leaned against the headboard, feeling her body melt bonelessly into the bed. Therese smiled contentedly around her breast and after a moment, unlatched, yawning. Carol opened her eyes.

"Do you feel better now, darling?"

"Not thirsty anymore," murmured Therese, but she squirmed. "Um . . ."

"But you need to be changed. That's actually good," said Carol, and kissed Therese's forehead. "It means you're not as dehydrated as you were. I don't think you've been dry for so long ever - it was making me quite worried."

Therese put her thumb in her mouth again, but immediately removed it and whimpered, tossing her head irritably against the sheets as Carol turned on the bedside light and went to the wardrobe to get Therese a fresh diaper. Carol made a noise of sympathy and came back to Therese, rubbing her tummy comfortingly.

"I'm sorry your thumb isn't giving you any comfort, sweetheart. Maybe we should try to find a pacifier for you."

"You're just happy I can't suck my thumb," grumbled Therese. Carol couldn't help a smile, then.

"Well, you might not have scarlet fever if you did keep your hands away from your mouth," she reminded Therese, but before she changed her, Carol unscrewed the nipple of Therese's bottle and handed it to her baby. "Try that and tell me if you feel any better."

Therese put the nipple into her mouth as Carol unpinned her sodden diaper. She sucked a few times on it and grimaced, but she continued to suck on it regardless, her blue-green eyes following Carol as she folded Therese's new diaper and pinned it on her securely. While Carol had Therese undressed, she rubbed some calamine onto her bottom and considered Therese's plastic pants.

"I can't help but think they're just making that rash worse."

"We don't have any clean sheets," said Therese around her pacifier. "I can't go without."

"Oh, darling." Carol leaned down and kissed Therese. "I know you worry so much about that. I'm so sorry for bringing it up. It's all right, you know. It's so very inconsequential."

"I don't want to make trouble for you," murmured Therese, and turned her face away from Carol. She picked up the pants and handed them to Carol. "Better put them on."

Carol did as Therese asked, but after she'd gotten Therese dressed, she washed her hands and then spread calamine lotion on Therese's itchy rash. "There now," said Carol. "That has to feel better."

Already Therese's eyes were drooping. "Yes, mama," she murmured, and Carol felt a faint shot of surprise at the word. So Therese was going to continue to call her "mama", then. She went to wash her hands again, the distinctive scent of the calamine lotion clinging to her hands regardless of soap and water, and then climbed back in bed beside her little girl. Therese immediately turned into Carol and nuzzled into her breasts again. 

"Are you still thirsty, sweetheart?" Carol stroked Therese's hair, feeling an exhaustion settle over her. Therese nodded and shyly pulled at the ribbon on Carol's nightgown. She knew she wasn't to fiddle with Carol's clothing, but Carol bit back the reprimand on her tongue as she saw how sweet Therese looked, her little fingers playing with the ribbon at Carol's chest.

"You know better than that, you little monkey," Carol whispered, but she kissed Therese's forehead and cheeks and then pushed her hands away gently. Since Therese had nursed on the left side before, Carol gently guided her to the right side, and pulled her close as Therese closed her eyes and latched on. They had only tried side-lying nursing once or twice before, Therese not really liking it much, but Carol was too tired to sit up. She fell asleep as Therese nursed, feeling the exhaustion and worry of the day overtake her.

//~//

Carol woke Therese the next morning for her penicillin dose. Therese moaned and threw a hand over her eyes. "No. No pill," she murmured.

"Therese. If you don't take your medicine, you're going to feel worse again. Much worse, in fact, because your body is still fighting this illness. Now, be a good girl and take your pill, and then I'll bring you some breakfast in bed, how does that sound?"

Therese squinted open her eyes and grimaced at Carol, but she obediently took her pill and then held out her arms to Carol. "Carol, can't I nurse to take the yucky taste away?"

Carol climbed back into bed and took Therese in her arms, patting her bottom securely. "You can nurse, but I think you need to be changed first. And I'd like you to eat some real food this morning. You can't live on milk, darling."

"But I don't want anything to eat," pouted Therese. "My tummy doesn't feel good."

Carol smiled down at her fussy baby. "And it probably doesn't feel good because it's hungry. I can tell that's why you're so fussy this morning." 

Therese looked a lot better than she had yesterday - her eyes were definitely brighter - but she was very weak, and even sitting up had her slumped against the headboard of the bed. Her face was flushed with the signs of the rash, and her voice was hoarse. She needed to drink quite frequently because, as she said, "My throat feels like someone's stuck a softball in there," and even swallowing too hard made her gag.

"I'm going to make some oatmeal for you - nothing too hard to eat - and then you can nurse afterwards if you're still hungry, all right?" Carol kissed Therese's forehead and patted her diaper again. "Now, let's get you changed before you leak."

Therese obediently lay back, but she frowned at Carol grumpily. "Don't want any oatmeal."

"Goodness, you're like a wounded tiger this morning, Therese," teased Carol gently, dropping a kiss on Therese's tummy and watching the frown lift a little from Therese's face. The girl's dimples showed a tiny bit in response to Carol's cheeky smile. 

"Well, I'm sick. Sick people are allowed to be grumpy," grumbled Therese, but she started to giggle when Carol tickled her tummy a little. Carol was careful - Therese was still weak - but she couldn't help laughing in response as Therese curled up and away from Carol to avoid the tickles, giggling all the while.

"Take it easy, sweetheart," said Carol, backing off and changing Therese's diaper while Therese tried to suck her thumb again. "I shouldn't have tickled so much."

"It's all right, mama," said Therese offhandedly, and then slipped her thumb into her mouth. But she spat it out and looked upset. "Yuck."

"Oh, baby." Carol finished with Therese's change and then kissed her forehead. "I'll have to see if maybe Abby can bring some pacifiers by today before she gets too caught up in the conference. She's not too far away."

Tucking Therese in again securely and leaving her with the _New York Times_ to read (the only paper that they took, being as Therese got a free subscription), Carol wandered into the kitchen and started a pan of water boiling. This "mama" business . . . Carol wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it. Rindy had never called Carol "mama" - always "Mommy", on Harge's insistence. He'd thought that "mama" was too babyish for his daughter.

Carol added the rolled oats, started milk heating in another pan, and sighed. It wasn't that she wanted Therese to call her something else. It was simply that she wasn't sure she wanted to turn their relationship into something different. "Mama" put another spin on things - made their little quirks, the nursing, the diapers, the way Therese needed to be little and Carol needed to care for her, into something strange and perverse. But at the same time, it was endearing, the way that Therese's eyes softened when she used the word; the way that Carol felt an answering tug of warmth towards Therese when she heard it.

Carol vowed to ask Therese about it and finding the oatmeal finished, she topped it with the hot milk and some brown sugar before bringing it into Therese.

Therese's tummy made an audible growl when she smelled the oatmeal, but she looked a bit unsure. "It hurts so much to swallow, Carol," she murmured.

"Well, it's nice and soft, and it shouldn't hurt your throat, darling. I'm very anxious for you to get something into your tummy, especially if you're taking medicine like penicillin. Rindy took it last year for an ear infection and it was a bit hard on her system." Carol spooned a bit of oatmeal into Therese's mouth and watched her carefully as she chewed and swallowed. It seemed painful, but not excruciatingly so, and after a moment, Therese opened her mouth again for more.

Carol gave her more and gently brushed a stray hair out of Therese's eyes. "There. That must feel much better."

Therese nodded and then smiled, her dimples flashing in the early morning light. "Thank you, Carol. I know it hasn't been easy the past day or so."

"You're not an easy patient," agreed Carol. "But I love you, and you gave me quite a scare, sweetheart. You don't get sick often, but when you do . . ."

"It's always been that way," said Therese, opening her mouth for more oatmeal and chewing thoughtfully. "In the Home, Sister Alicia would have to quarantine me away from the other children if one of them got sick, because she knew that she'd be calling in the doctor if I did, and it was so expensive to have him come all the way out to the Home. It was a fair distance away from the city."

Carol suddenly understood Therese's ramblings during her fever spike the night before. "Oh, sweetie, that sounds hard."

"I'd try not to show any signs of it, because the sisters would get worried, and they'd talk about it when they thought I was asleep," said Therese, taking the spoon from Carol and feeding herself, now. "So I'd hide if I felt a fever coming on, or if I was sick to my stomach. But they always found out, mostly because another child would tell them if I threw up or was lying on my bed in the middle of the day."

"Were they cruel to you?"

"The children? No. And the sisters were wonderful," said Therese, sounding firm. "It just was so hard for them to figure out how to stretch the donations we got to cover every child. And, of course, I never went home. They had me all the time."

"My little orphan," said Carol, and took the bowl away from Therese, since she was starting to look tired. Therese had eaten most of the oatmeal and looked much less pinched than she had before. But a loud growling came up from her tummy, and Therese looked worried for a moment.

"Are you all right, Therese?" Carol asked her. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Therese shook her head, but her tummy growled again. "Maybe it's just not used to food?"

"Well, it's been awhile since you've had anything except milk. Maybe we should have taken it a little more slowly," said Carol, and got into bed beside her little one, who immediately curled up against her. Therese let out a long sigh and closed her eyes. Even the short time she'd spent eating had tired her out, and Carol kissed the top of her head.

"Have a little nap, darling. I'm going to go and call Abby."

Therese nodded, just barely, before she turned over and fell asleep. Carol found herself slightly amused that Therese hadn't even asked to nurse, but figured she'd get a lot of that later. She went to go and call Abby.

Abby sounded cheerful, as she always did in the morning. "How's Therese doing?"

"She's better since she's gotten some antibiotics into her," replied Carol. "She was actually willing to eat this morning. Poor little lamb, she's having a rough time. Abby, I've got a strange request . . ."

"Well, it can't be any stranger than the time you asked me to go out and buy bottles and rubber pants for Rindy," said Abby, sounding amused. "That was interesting. I had no idea what I was doing in Frankenberg's that day."

Carol laughed. "And you were so put out by the time you got back to New Jersey! Ah, I do love you, Abigail Gerhard."

"I know you do, you nitwit. Well, what do you need this time? I don't have a lot of time before the conference opens at ten. It's almost seven-thirty now," Abby reminded Carol.

"Therese is having such a time with her thumb, Abby. I think the scarlet fever is making it hard for her to comfort herself. I know it's an odd thing to ask, darling, but could you pick up some pacifiers for me today? I just can't stand watching her struggle."

"You're far too soft by half," scolded Abby, "But of course I'll do it, Carol. Have you taken time to eat or sleep with all this illness? I'm worried about you, sweetheart."

"I'll get some coffee in a moment. Therese is asleep."

"Don't even bother. I'll bring you some breakfast as well. Go and lie down for awhile and try to rest so Therese and I aren't taking care of _you_ next week."

Carol smiled, feeling tears prick at her eyes. Besides Therese, Abby was the only one in her life who really cared about her health and well-being. "Thank you, darling."

"Don't mention it. I believe Frankenberg's opens at eight-thirty this morning. I'll be over soon."

Carol hung up with Abby and lay down on the couch and tugged the soft blue throw that usually lived on their bed over her. She was exhausted . . . her back was still sore and achy, and she knew she'd need to nurse Therese soon - her breasts were sore and felt full. Carol still felt strange about this turn of events. But how to speak to the doctor about it without letting on that, well, she did have a little one that needed to nurse and did frequently? She didn't even want to tell Abby . . . with her worry on her mind, Carol drifted into a light sleep.

She was abruptly awakened an hour later by a light knocking on the door. Rubbing her eyes and trying to settle her hair, she got up and let Abby in.

"Hello, Carol. Oh, sweetie, you look exhausted." Abby ran her cool hands over Carol's cheeks and kissed her on both cheeks, French-style. "Now, I've brought you some coffee, and a bagel from that place you like. You need to eat to keep up your strength."

"Thank you, darling. You're a lifesaver. Did you find the pacifiers?"

"I did. I think the little one will be happy with these." Abby pulled out a package of pacifiers from her bag and handed it to Carol. "Now. Come on and eat. I can't stay long."

Carol, sitting across from Abby, sipped her hot coffee like it was the elixir of life. "Ah, Abby. Thank you so much."

"You look better already." Abby chewed on her own bagel. "How's it really been, Carol?"

Carol opened her mouth to speak, but then suddenly burst into tears, surprising herself. Abby immediately put her food down and came to sit beside Carol, drawing her into her arms. 

"All right, sweetheart, you're exhausted. Poor thing." Abby smoothed Carol's hair. "It must have been so frightening for you, kiddo."

"She just got so sick, Abby, so fast . . ." Carol wiped her eyes and Abby took a tissue from her purse and wiped Carol's face for her. "And I guess I'm much more exhausted than I thought."

"Jane called me after she got back, said that Therese was in rough shape. I'm so sorry for you both. I'm glad she's doing better this morning." Abby kissed Carol's cheek. "You're so good to her, you know."

"She's good to me," said Carol, smiling a little through her tears. "Thank you so much for asking Jane to come. She got the doctor out in double-time. I was so blind . . ."

"You were worried. It's all right, it's over and done with now," soothed Abby, wiping two more stray tears that fell down Carol's cheeks. "And everyone is safe, and Therese is getting better. Poor baby," said Abby, and cuddled Carol to her. "It's all right."

Carol let Abby cuddle her for awhile, and then detached suddenly when she felt her breasts well and then a wetness on the front of her nightgown. _Shit_ , she thought. Abby's sharp brown eyes noticed everything, and she knew full well that Carol had never nursed Rindy, not even once. She crossed her arms over the wet spots on her nightgown, thankfully small, but Abby noticed the sudden movement and then looked Carol straight in the eye.

"Carol, is there something you're not telling me?" Abby was straightforward, and Carol looked away. She didn't want to share this part of her relationship with Abby . . . but nor did she want her to think she was ill.

"I have milk," she said flatly. "It just started within the last few days."

"But you're not nursing anyone," said Abby, looking as confused as a childless woman in her mid-thirties could when confronted with a situation like this. "Rindy is five years old, and anyway . . ."

Carol sighed. "Therese . . . nurses. I don't want to discuss it, Abby, but I think it began two or three days ago. It started in earnest yesterday. I don't know if it's normal. I don't know." She heard her voice break. "It happened with Rindy but it dried up quickly . . ."

Abby looked incredulous for a moment, and then started to laugh. But she stopped fairly quickly once she saw Carol's face, and then cuddled Carol to her again. "It's normal, sweetie, if you have someone who's regularly stimulating your breasts like that. I've heard of it before, mostly with women like us who have recently fed babies and are also with someone. I'm not sure why it'd happen to you, but it is a normal part of biology, though I confess I don't know anything more about it than that."

Carol leaned against Abby. "I was afraid something was wrong with me," she murmured. "I haven't been feeling well."

Abby stroked her hair. "I don't think anything is wrong with you, or with Therese either." She kissed the top of Carol's head. "Give my best to the little one. I hope she feels better. Get some rest; I'll try to drop by tomorrow after the conference is finished."

Carol saw Abby to the door and watched through the window as Abby briskly walked towards the subway, feeling better. Just then, she heard Therese whimper a little. "Carol . . ."

"I'm coming, darling," she said, and turned back towards the bedroom.

//~//

Within the next week, Therese started to get better in leaps and bounds. She did have a little trouble with the medication - it gave her some nausea and some diarrhea - but its benefits far outweighed these nasty symptoms. She also continued to nurse regularly, and Carol believed, privately, that the breastmilk she was getting made her better much more quickly.

But she was bored, and even Carol reading from the paper to her or reading Therese her favourite books had paled. The radio programs they both enjoyed weren't on until the evenings. She now wandered around the house, wrapped up as warmly as Carol could convince her to in the humid July heat, and complained.

"I don't really want to hear another story," Therese said on the following Friday, a week after she'd fallen ill, flopping onto the couch and pouting. "I want to go out."

"Darling, you're not well enough to go out. The doctor said you need to finish your medication. You still have a few more days."

"Just a little walk? Please, Carol?"

"No, Therese. Now, stop complaining. Why don't I go to the library today and get you some new things to read?"

"I guess that would be nice. Thank you," said Therese, clearly trying to sound grateful, but failing. "I just need to get back to work . . ."

Privately, Carol agreed - she, too, wanted to go back to work. Bob called daily, asking if she could come in for a few hours. She had come in today, but had come home at lunchtime to be sure that Therese ate and took a nap. She had given Therese her lunch and medicine, and now could already see Therese's eyes starting to droop.

"Come on, sweetheart. It's naptime for you. I think you'll be less crabby after a little sleep."

"Okay," grumbled Therese, but she obediently got up and followed Carol into the bedroom. Carol had remade the bed with fresh sheets that morning, and it looked very inviting indeed. Therese wandered over to Carol, pushing one of her pacifiers into her mouth, and tugged a little bit at the front of her pajama pants.

"Do you need to be changed, darling?" Carol checked Therese's diaper and found it soaked. "Let's get you more comfortable."

Therese's rash was almost gone, having faded quickly once the medication took hold. Carol made quick work of the diaper change, noticing Therese's eyes closing. She wasn't always asking to nurse at naptime, now, so Carol's milk had tapered off a little bit and wasn't so abundant. But today wasn't one of the days that Therese would fall asleep without nursing. As soon as Carol came back after washing her hands, Therese immediately fastened her fingers onto Carol's skirt.

"Someone's a little clingy today," smiled Carol, climbing onto the bed and taking Therese in her arms. She kissed Therese's forehead. "Would you like to nurse, Therese?"

"Yes, mama," murmured Therese, and Carol quietly unbuttoned her blouse, but just as Therese latched on, something in Carol made her ask.

"Why 'mama', Therese? You've been saying that a lot," said Carol, trying to sound unconcerned. 

Therese opened her eyes and then a sudden embarrassed, almost frightened expression crossed her face. She abruptly unlatched. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice sounding a bit discomfited. "I guess I didn't really notice I was doing it as much as I was."

"It's all right, darling, relax," soothed Carol. "I'm not angry. I'm just curious."

"I don't know . . . I guess because you're like a mother to me. Oh, not like that," said Therese quickly, noticing Carol's face. "I mean . . . I don't know, I just feel safe. And it's a safe word."

Carol was silent, but she gently guided Therese back to her breast and for awhile, the only sound was Therese's mouth on her nipple. But Therese was clearly thinking, too, because she unlatched and looked up at Carol.

"What's wrong, Therese?" Carol stroked Therese's hair and kissed her forehead. "I'm really not angry at all, sweetie."

"If you don't like it . . . or if Rindy calls you that . . ."

"Rindy has never used that word for me," said Carol truthfully. "I don't know how I feel about it, Therese. But I don't dislike it. I think it's rather sweet. And I'm glad that you feel safe, angel. I don't want you to ever feel unsafe. I'm always here for you."

Therese smiled, then, her lips milky and her eyes sleepy. "I love you."

"I love you," replied Carol. "And if you want to call me 'mama', that's all right with me." She cuddled Therese for a few moments, letting Therese latch on for a little while, and then unlatched her once she felt Therese's mouth go slack on her nipple. Therese was asleep in her arms.

Laying Therese gently down on her pillow, Carol slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door. Therese would easily sleep two hours. She had an idea for a surprise.

//~//

When Therese woke up, Carol changed her and then kissed her forehead. "I have a little surprise for you, sweetie."

Immediately, Therese's eyes brightened and she smiled in anticipation. "Really?"

"Yes. Come on out to the living room."

Therese scampered out, forgetting to put on her slippers as Carol would have preferred, but Carol didn't call her back. She just smiled and followed her little one, laughing aloud as Therese stopped dead in the middle of the room.

In the place of the radio stand, there was a TV cabinet. Carol had called Bob and had him bring out one of the cabinets they'd had on hand in the furniture store. It hadn't taken the boys at work more than an hour to bring it over and set it up - the only difficulty Carol had had was to implore them to be as quiet as possible so that they wouldn't wake Therese.

"We got a television? Really, Carol?" Therese turned around, her eyes shining. "Oh, how wonderful!"

"Well, I can't have my little one complaining she's bored and making herself more ill trying to get outside." Carol flipped it on, and it scrambled for a moment while it warmed up. Then the picture clearly came through - it was a children's show, being as it was around 4 o'clock, but Therese sat down in front of it, enthralled.

"No, darling. Come and sit back on the couch. You'll catch a chill on the floor like that."

Therese obediently got up and settled beside Carol on the couch, her thumb in her mouth. For once, she didn't grimace - her throat must be totally better now, thought Carol.

"Ah, Therese, you must be feeling much better if you're sucking your thumb again."

Therese nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too, darling."

And Carol breathed a sigh of relief.


End file.
